Well I’m back and it’s been a long time coming. I have to say I am so glad to be back to the blogging world. I have some upsetting news, but hopefully by the end of this post I will shed some light on common struggles that A LOT us encounter & how to perservear.
Where do I start? I started blogging to express my feelings on many aspects. This is a great outlet for anyone to share your life on by expressing yourself. If it helps you in any way then I consider that a great thing. I am so happy and thankful for all of you that take the time to read blog posts, like my pictures, comment on pictures, or anyone that even sends me a DM to say have a great day…. You have no idea how much I appreciate YOU!
Now to the hard part…..I started nursing school in January and boy was it A LOT OF WORK! I thought I would be fine even though I didn’t have a high grade in my class. I’m going to be very real with you. I didn’t make it through the first semester. I didn’t pass. I was so upset and sad that I couldn’t continue on with my classmates. In all honesty it broke me. I had a breakdown, freaked out, and cried to my husband over and over. I’m not an emotional person so he didn’t know how to comfort me other than to just sit with me. I started to question myself in every aspect possible; my worth, my intelligence, my ability to move forward, my ability to pass, my ability to succeed and really my ability to do anything. I’ve never really struggled in school (besides math) until I started nursing school. When people say that nursing school is hard it really is! I was so close to passing that it makes me sick to think about it, BUT that’s pushing me even more to try again!
I realized a few days after I received my terrible news that I’m not alone. There are so many people that have daily struggles that are so much bigger and worse than mine. I need to be grateful that I even made it into my program the first time that I applied. I need to be grateful for the knowledge that I’ve gained and I need to be grateful for the great friends that I’ve made. I need to be grateful for my experience thus far! I really had to swallow my pride and realize that I failed when I tried my hardest. I put my best foot forward and it wasn’t enough.
If you know me personally then you know that I’ve always said I’ve never felt like I’ve had a calling in life. You might think I sound crazy, but its the truth. There are several things that I’m interested in, but nothing really ever stood out to me that made me feel like this is what I’m supposed to do. I received my AA in Criminal Justice and then decided I would try out nursing school. If you can’t tell I’m just trying to figure out what I’m meant to do with my life. I know it’s something great, but idk what that is yet. I was honestly surprised that I even applied to nursing school and even more so that I actually enjoyed it. So now we are in 2018 and I’m still not 100% sure that what I’m suppose to do (shocker)
Thank you for the love and support that I have received over the last few weeks!!! I’ve been taking time to transition back into my regular daily routine since my schedule isn’t insane anymore. If you ever feel like you are struggling just know you are NOT alone! Have a great Tuesday
P.S. one of my favorites quotes right now is “having the strength to let go of what you cannot change”